Unorthodox and Unhinged

Tales of a Manic Christian

Reindeer, Rainy Days & Mondays

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White Reindeer, Zach Clark Films, 2013.

Bipolar, I am very rarely down.
I live my life gloriously balanced in hypomanic and holy space.

This space is the woof and warp of my loony loom. Daily decisions, large and small, weave together the texture and color of my daily walk.

Yes.

Walking, talking, balking;

Reading, working, sleeping;

Lurking, leaping, housekeeping;

Netflixing, Hulu hopping, blogging;

Sermonizing, staff meet-ing, colleague conferencing;

Teaching, preaching, pastoring;

Cafe haunting, eatery slinking, coffee drinking;

Advocating, electioneering, volunteering;

FaceBooking, photo shopping, grocery shopping;

Floor mopping, dish washing, laundry folding;

Clothes modeling, junk recycling, riverfront hiking;

Story Districting, LIbrary (of Congress) docenting;

Eucharist celebrating, neighborhood organizing;

Writing, reflecting, philosophizing;

Socialzing, parenting, befriending;

Showering, singing, flinging.

Laughing.

Living.

Loving.

Entertaining angels unaware. 
Rainy days and Mondays rarely get me down.

Yet —

whirling and spinning, even I have to begrudgingly admit, that my psyche so wound up, eventually has to wind itself down.

Darker, wetter December days enter.

I feel a tug that pulls me downward

and closer to the earth.

An undercurrent of small sorrows,

lingingering losses,

little ripples of sadness,

lonely and alone.

Bittersweet, emotionally delicious,

I taste and touch the deeper parts

of my happy, happy manic soul.

Like the little blue girl in Inside Out,

“Sadness”  is a place we should not fear to go.

Sadness, sometimes, is exactly the place we need to be.

Tearing up in the shower is okay.

Soul searching on the subway. Also okay.

Channel surfing in your pajamas. Okay too.

Just let it be, 

at least for a little while,

but not too long.

Darker, wetter December days are holy days,

these holidays,

like rainy days and Mondays,

yes,

they sometimes weigh us down, 

but the darkness will be overwhelmed by the light,

by light,

most luminous,

Light Divne.

So from U&U:

A very, very,

merry, merry,

 happy, happy, 

manic-depressive Christmas to you!

Author: celticjlp

Episcopal priest, 22 years. 12 years, balanced and bipolar. "Associate for Liturgy & Hilarity" at Emmanuel on High, Alexandria, VA. Bibliomaniac desk jockey at Library of Congress. Washington DC born and bred. Half marathoner and avid pedestrian. Friend to many and mother of three. Blogger, Storyteller & Mental Health Evangelist.

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